The best bread recipe ever

As someone who struggled with making bread for six years before finding this recipe, this claim is pretty outrageous. Before, I would have said there's no such goddamn thing as a good bread recipe, just different variations of frustrating and sticky and flat and crap and time-consuming. The soft, fluffy sandwich bread that rises more than a hand's width is literally made out of magic and capitalism, because nothing I've ever made with flour and yeast has ever come close.

And this isn't sandwich bread! But it does make the best dinner rolls or sandwich buns ever. It's whole wheat, it's soft and fluffy on the inside, pleasantly crunchy on the outside, and it only takes 30-40 minutes meaning you can cook it alongside the rest of the meal, start to finish. I don't remember where I found the original recipe, but I've modified it sufficiently everywhere from the ingredients to the cooking temperature that I don't feel even slightly bad posting it as mine.

Since I discovered this recipe, I have been literally baking my own bread from scratch whenever I fancy eating some bread. That just never happens with other yeast bread. You have to plan ahead and schedule it in because it's going to take you at least four hours to make. But no, with this recipe I'm just like, "I feel like some bread and jam for lunch", and half an hour later I'm eating fresh, hot bread that just came out of the oven.

I appreciate that half an hour might seem like kind of a long time for some of you to wait for bread, but given the freshness, the smell in my kitchen, and the fact that there's usually at least a half hour wait for any of the food I eat that is more complex than yogurt and honey or a piece of fruit, personally I think it's more than worth it.

Preheat oven to 425F.

In a large mixing bowl, combine 1C warm water, 1tbsp white sugar, 1tbsp olive oil, and 1 packet yeast, in that order. Mix with a wooden spoon and let rest for 10-15 minutes.

When yeast is frothing, stir in 1/4tsp salt and 1 egg. Add 1C AP flour and stir. Add 1C whole wheat flour and stir. Then scoop out 1C AP flour and add from the cup until dough is just barely not sticky. It's nice when it's moist in my opinion. I have rarely finished off the whole cup.

Let dough rest for 5 minutes. Then split into whatever shapes you like - I like to split it into 9 balls and put them in a square cake pan to make dinner rolls, but you can do it however you like. I grease the (nonstick) pan with olive oil and flour all the dough balls, so that the finished product comes out dusted with flour on the tops.

Bake for 15 minutes.

Enjoy with fruit preserve, gravy, tomato sauce, honey, or even just plain butter - the bread is delicious enough to make it taste sublime!

Garlic and cheese soda bread rolls

It's always a huge shame when you're cooking dinner, realize you're out of bread when bread would be delicious, and then realize you don't have three hours to make yeast bread. For those moments, I have prepared this recipe! These puff up like muffins in the pan with big puffy domed tops. They come out soft and fluffy on the inside, and when vet tech husband tried one (fresh out of the oven!) he split it perfectly in half with just his hands, saw the soft inside and picturesque steam rising out of it, and declared it to look "like food on TV". That's good enough for me!

Preheat oven to 425F.

Sift 2C AP flour, 2C whole wheat flour, 2tsp baking soda and 4tsp baking powder into a large bowl. If the bran bits in the whole wheat flour get stuck in the sieve, just pour them back into the bowl - you're sifting it to get air into it.

Add at least 5tbsp garlic powder, more if you like garlic, and about 1-2tbsp of mixed dried herbs (I used mixed Italian herbs and some parsley), and 1/2-3/4C shredded cheese such as mozzarella or cheddar. Pick the herbs and cheese depending on what you want to pair them with - if you're making a chicken dish, rosemary and thyme might be a good choice!

Mix in 3C water until fully combined. Prep a 12-cup regular-size muffin pan, either with Pam or with oil and flour, and fill each cup right to the top. Bake for 30mins.

These are seriously delicious as snacks or as rolls to go with dinner and you don't have to start them three hours before everything else!

Perfect Chicken Pizza

I made pizza for my family tonight. I've tried a bunch of recipes that involve rising the crust, but I found a crust recipe that didn't involve any rising at all and goddamn if it wasn't the best pizza I've ever had. Crispy, but super soft once you bite into it. This pizza is better than any takeout you will ever get, and it's a damn sight cheaper, too.

I used this crust recipe, with a few changes. I added a whole bunch of garlic powder and a little ground basil, and I subbed in 1C whole wheat flour. I also changed the preparation - I mixed the yeast, sugar and water in a bowl and let it froth up, poured it into the flour, stirred until it became dough and then added the olive oil. I just like it better that way. I've heard it's better, though I have no idea why, and it does seem to make tastier crust! I do it that way for bread too.

Then I heated a can of plain tomato sauce, added mixed herbs, paprika and about nine or ten cloves of garlic minced in the garlic press (mincing by hand wouldn't have gotten them fine enough for me).

I rolled out the crust - I like thin, Italian-style pizza crust and this crust made one big-ass pizza. I put it on the pizza tray, drizzled a ring of olive oil around the edge and spread it around the crust, especially the edges, with my fingers. I ladled some of the sauce on and spread it with the back of a spoon until it was even, and then sprinkled on some chopped mushrooms and bell peppers. Then I put a ton of shredded mozzarella, probably a good cup and a half of cheese. Then more mushrooms and peppers, and some shredded chicken - then a sprinkle more mozzarella and some red pepper flakes.

Bake at 425F for 25-30 minutes and let the mozzarella crisp up - even if it gets a little black it'll taste divine! The cheese came out gooey and perfect, and the crust wasn't in the least bit oily. This is way better than takeout pizza that leaves the box see-through with grease, and there's no irritating rising time either!

Whole Wheat Walnut and Oat Bread

I made this bread as a complement to my carrot and coriander soup, and also as a way to use walnuts up in recipes so that I would actually enjoy eating them. I can say with the full support of my three husbands that it was a wild success on both accounts! I hope everyone enjoys making and eating this delicious bread.

Preheat oven to 435F.

In a small bowl mix 2tsp yeast and 1tsp white sugar, and add 1/4C warm water. Leave for about 5-10 minutes or until frothy.

Put 1 1/4C (one and a quarter) warm water in a large bowl, and stir in the yeast mixture. Add 1tsp dark brown sugar, 1/4C old fashioned oats, and 2C whole wheat flour. Stir to combine.

Mix 2tbsp olive oil to dough and stir to combine. Finely chop 1/2C walnuts and toast; stir walnuts into dough. Make sure they're distributed evenly!

Then, begin adding all-purpose flour (between 2 and 3C) by the half-cup until the dough is soft and no longer sticky. Knead as you incorporate, and slap the dough a lot while you knead.

Put in greased or floured bowl, cover with a towel and let rise for an hour or two, until doubled in size. Knead it down, shape it into a loaf and place it on a greased baking tray (I put foil on my trays and spray the foil with Pam). If you like, you can wet the top of the loaf and top it with more oats (or poppyseeds!). Cover loaf with towel and let rise for 30-45 minutes.

Bake in oven for 30 minutes, and make sure to tap the bottom to make sure it sounds hollow! If it doesn't, put it back in and check every 5-10 minutes.