I went to the bank yesterday to close my account. They've been charging me for all sorts of things without telling me beforehand which I wouldn't have minded except that the charges resulted in me being overdrawn. So I threw on my workout clothes, walked down there with writer husband, told them I was sick of it, got them to refund me all but four dollars of the money they'd taken out, and closed down my account.
While I was having my account closed, a woman came up to our counter. Her hair was undone and her clothes were shabby. She was glaring and pouting. She huffed and said to the cashier helping me "I'm going to go because I've seen four people get served ahead of me and now I'm late for an appointment" in the teeny tiniest voice. I mean, I know I'm a little deaf, but seriously, her voice was teeny tiny.
The cashier apologized for the delay and offered to book her an appointment. A not-really-argument ensued in which the woman complained in that quiet, whining voice of hers that she had to cash a check right now to pay a bill that was due Monday, complained that the bank was about to close and just said "oh" when she was told that it was open for another hour, and finally consented to doing what the cashier suggested which was to make an appointment.
All the time I was thinking, holy smokes, if it was that important to her why didn't she make more of a fuss about it? Why was she talking in such a tiny voice? Why was she pouting at the cashier and looking to her to do something about the problem? Why wasn't she taking charge of her situation in any way?
This is pretty much a perfect example of the difference between alphas and betas. I got the bank to pay me money, got an appointment twenty minutes after I asked for it and had everything I wanted done without trouble. She got nothing and left dissatisfied.
This is another big reason that I always disliked the "how to care for your introvert" stuff that goes around every so often on social networking sites. Because, yes, drunken club parties or whatever it is that "hipsters/nerds" complain about on the internet are boring for some people (introvert and extrovert alike), but introverts are also often betas. Not speaking up, not being clear in what you want and backing away from fights are major attributes of introverts and betas alike. And, frankly, alphas get shit done. Alphas tend to be more successful in their endeavors than betas because they are effective.
I'll say it again: it has nothing to do with social rules, bullying, or dominating. People who are clear, self-assured and firm get stuff done better and more efficiently than people who don't. This would hold true under any social climate.
People should not be encouraged to be inefficient, passive, ineffectual and timid, because it will damage them. Even if it's difficult for some, people should be encouraged to get their shit together and build confidence. Whether or not it comes naturally is no excuse for not practising a skill.